I-Shoulds, I-Shouldn’ts, I-dos

Sometimes I think that possibly I should 

  • be more eco-aware, use eco-friendly products, recycle, check labels for animal testing and go bio because you know of the future of my future kids with my future husband
  • read daily news on politics, current affairs and world conflicts because I don’t always exactly know what’s going on in Gaza and Syria and who’s the Prime Minister of Italy at the moment
  • finish my degree in philosophy and make my grandma proud of me because that’s what grandchildren are for aren’t they 
  • read more Shakespeare and Hugo and Joyce because they are not called classics for nothing
  • be thankful for every safe take off and landing I make even if it takes place at 3am 
  • appreciate the quiet moments (more like hours) when nobody calls and nobody texts and I have so much time to think about why they don’t
  • give money to charity, any amount, any charity because that’s what decent people with enough money do right
  • look at people that did not have the same standards of upbringing that I did without feeling slightly superior (and very guilty) 
  • learn how to receive a compliment without overthinking what it actually meant
  • start thinking about my future (and by future I mean anything beyond tomorrow’s breakfast) because I’m not getting any younger
  • look at people that achieved more than I did and catch up with them rather than look at the ones that didn’t and slow down comfortably because … well just because 
  • look at myself at any point of the day and think “wow you still look great” because if I don’t then who ever will
  • ban “what if’s” from my life because they are the biggest time-energy-wasters I know of
  • live in the moment and take it as it comes (and goes) because when I occasionally do it always feels great
  • stop saying “I love working out” and actually start loving working out

and then I also think that I shouldn’t

  • hate it when people give me what they call “constructive criticism” and I call “bullshit” because everyone is entitled to their opinion however shitty it is
  • take myself too seriously sometimes because altho it’s hard to believe I’m not perfect never have been and quite possibly never will be
  • second guess anything and anybody especially myself because ain’t nobody got time for that
  • keep on denying the fact that I really enjoy watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians because I do yeah I said it 
  • spend so much money on shoes with heels (anymore) (anymore this month) (until next paycheck)  ok I’ll reconsider this one
  • pretend that I don’t like carbs and low-carb diet is actually my “normal” diet…because it’s not. Carbs are great. They make my belly feel happy and full
  • think that “I went to the gym yesterday” is a valid excuse not to go today because -sniff sniff- it isn’t 

but -quite honestly – very often I do

  • spend too much time on social media and cannot be bothered reading news because frankly I care more about what happened on my friend’s latest layover more than what happened in Ukraine
  • watch way too many funny animal videos on Youtube… because… because this:
  • stalk people on Instagram shamelessly and often feel jealous of what their lives look like because I’m evidently still 16 at heart
  • not give a damn about having a Bc or Mg or anything else in front of my name because I didn’t enjoy studying (as oppose to having really enjoyed being a student) and can’t bring myself to do it all over again just to make somebody else happy
  • obsess about views and followers and likes and such because sadly I’m a writer and that’s what we do on sleepless nights
  • stare at myself in the mirror for way too long listing the things I don’t like or should improve because my “loving myself unconditionally” is still “under construction”
  • pretend I forgot what I came to the bookshop for and then just to make myself remember end up buying a new pair of shoes
  • eat a whole bar of chocolate for breakfast and then do not eat anything else for the rest of the day because I’m a weakling where sweets are involved and the world would be a much better and easier place if we just got rid of anything sweet for good
  • compose a (questionably) collaborate post on Facebook, Instagram or here just for the sake of this one certain person hoping they will read it and find me amusing, funny, clever and generally irresistible because isn’t that what we ultimately all want … no ok it’s just me then forget I said anything

This post is a little fluffy something I thought of on my latest flight that I just literally landed from. I can’t use my phone when in uniform and so I had to scribble my notes down on a piece of paper. When I looked down I realised that the piece of paper was a menu… IMG_3079

Lots of love and goodnight to everyone



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