Doing the job I do I get to talk to people. A lot of people.All the time. And the one thing I have learnt about people is that they like to overdramatise. Especially whilst on the phone. Regardless of their race, sex or age that’s just what they do. Whenever they call it’s because “they have a problem”.
It’s not a query or a request they are calling for. It’s always a problem. If I was a bar tender my conversation with every customer would go like this:
“Hi there! What can I get you?”
“I have got a problem. I need a drink. Can you help me with that?”
See what I mean?
Needing a drink is not a problem. Neither is anything my customers ever call for. It’s a mere necessity of everyone’s life. If people realised that there would little stress left in the world
That’s why I decided to put a stop to this “problem” madness once and for all. If you ever find yourself calling customer services/ ordering a drink in a pub it’s not because you have got a problem. It’s because there is something you want somebody else to do for you. Or because you are thirsty.
Now I am not saying real problems don’t exist. Of course they do. Like disappearing socks for example. That IS a problem. One I have been facing since I can remember. I am sure you know what I am talking about. You buy them, you wear them, wash them, put them away and then they disappear. Just like that. Without a reason or an explanation. Is it me? Is it something I said? Is there something about my feet that offended them? I just don’t know.
All I know is that socks never stick with me. They use me and then leave. I go looking for them but it’s too late. They are gone forever. Nowhere to be found. It takes me a while to get over it but I pull myself together and go thru the whole hurtful process again. Put on a brave face and get out there. Find the perfect pair or at least they seem so at first. Let myself enjoy the warm feeling while it lasts. And then one day wake up in the middle of the night shivering whilst my special someone pulls aways hissing at me ” your feet are frozen”. I know it’s my fault. It’s because I always go for the wrong type … of socks. The unfaithful type.
My special someone just asked :
“What are you writing about this time?”
“About my disappearing socks” I say.
“I have got the same problem” he replies(because this is, as we discussed already, A PROBLEM).
It’s because he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know I have been watching. Watching his faithful socks. And then secretly stealing them. Because his are the only socks that ever stayed with me. Even after a gruelling gym session. Even after a full day of shopping in my favourite boots. They endured it all and never left. The right kind of socks. Socks that reach up to my knees because I am apparently dating a Bigfoot.
My special someone doesn’t know he doesn’t have a problem with disappearing socks. He has a problem with his thieving girlfriend. So if you are reading this Huggie your socks haven’t abandoned you. They have merely relocated to my drawer. Which is where I put them after I have used them and washed them. And I am doing this for you- to spare you the agony of my cold feet.
So my dear readers next time you are about to say those magically stressful words ” I have got a problem” think twice – are socks involved? No? Then it’s not really a problem.
It’s just something you want somebody else to do for you.
Feeling less stressed already? You are welcome!